The unofficial psychology blog from Paul Hutchings

The Ballad of Joseph Tierney

I found this on a website for The Herald Scotland, and I have copied it here because these are pretty much my sentiments but Mr. Tierney has written them in a far more eloquent way than I can manage at the moment.

The full HeraldScotland page can be found here but Joseph Tierney’s piece sums it all up nicely for me:

I am a public sector worker so according to Andrew McKie I need to be rerformed and, hopefully, fail to make my allotted three score and ten. I am a parasite leaching the life out of the Economy, But aren’t I the Economy, at least sometimes? When I’m paying my taxes or the duty on goods or my National Insuruance or my pension contributions or my rent or credit card repayments, isn’t that good for the Economy?

I can’t afford private health care or holidays abroad and my car is quite old so I guess I’m injuring the Economy and I would like to apologise now, up front and without delaty to Mr McKie for failing the Economy in its hour of need. I will try and take on more personal debt if that will level the score a bit more in my favour and re-balance the Economy, but my pay is going to fall and my contributions are going up so it might be a squeeze, but you can’t do enough for the Economy.

I would really like to apologise for signing up to an agreement of terms and conditions where I exchanged my time and skills for money and the prospect of a reasonable pension if I made it to the end of my career. This was harmful to the Economy and showed a wilful disregard for its health and well-being, although in my defence, I was young and naive. I hope for the Economy’s sake that my life expectancy doesn’t exceed the years of selfish demands that I’ve placed it under already. I can see now that I was wrong, really wrong to believe that our society needs public healthcare, public education, public protection, public sanitation and public amenities. What a fool I’ve been to waste my time on other people. The Economy doesn’t need any of this! My whole working life has been an abusrd waste of time. How blind I’ve been not to see it! But don’t worry Mr McKie, you’ve helped me see the light and I will do my absolute best to secure a job in the fincial sector. I might try selling something that people don’t really need or want but can be conned into paying a lot of money for because that will help the Economy. Maybe I’ll sell vast mortgages to people who have absolutely no prospect of paying them back – they’re faceless, nameless drones no one will miss, not least the Economy. If one or two of them top themselves as a result so much the better. With any luck quite a few of them will work for the public sector. Then I’ll devise a means of disguising what I’ve done and sell that to other people who are useful to the Economy like Hedge Fund managers, Bankers, the Coalition Govt. and right wing journalists who really understand and nurture the Economy. They are its High Priests and I know they can be trusted not to jeopardise it anyway. I trust them. They aren’t motivated by greed, opportunism or self-interest. They won’t exploit the Economy for their own ends. They won’t threaten to move out and take up with a better looking Economy if ours starts to show signs of cracking up because they’ve messed it about too much. They wouldn’t do that. They’re noble and important people for whom Economic stability and Economic growth are all that matter. If they left; the Economy would miss them. It would become distraught, derranged and might even see Greece as a likely holiday destination to get away from it all.

Fortunately any blame for Economic insanity can be placed at the door of the pesky, nay worse than that; anti-free market, anti-growth, anti-productive but luckily nailed to the floor on PAYE, public sector worker. Their pockets are plenty deep enough to cover the losses. They don’t have to use their salaries to pay tax lawyers and accountants to help them avoid contributions. If those loopholes were closed that would harm the Economy and the money the High Priests earned would be squandered by the Govt and not aid the Economy one little bit. Some public sector shark might take a chunk out of it. Greedy bampots.

Maybe I’ll get a job with Northern Rock, RBoS, Halifax/BoS or Lloyds TSB, that way my taxes can go directly to my wages and I’ll get a bonus! Sweet! I might be able to afford a new car, foreign trips and private healthcare after all.

I’m thinking the inscription on my head stone might read, ‘Here lies Joe Tierney, Must Try Harder or the Economy Will Suffer’


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